Allowing Things to Unfold Organically-Ten of Swords, Hanged Man, and Two of Wands

For many of us, whenever we talk to psychics, we want to straight up know all the answers to what’s coming up for us. It gives us some sort of illusion of control, when really if we have too much information, it can misdirect our energies, then alter and screw up that path. Again, like I’ve mentioned before, there are always multiple paths we can take, and the future is constantly in flux because of our and others’ free will.

Typically, I get the ten of swords, hanged man, and two of wands in relationship questions, but they've also come up during job questions too.  It's usually because either someone doesn't know what to do, or wants to know if something is going to work out, as a means to try to beat pain to the punch in case it doesn’t. These cards convey to me that it's time to STOP OVERTHINKING, LET IT GO, and LET THINGS UNFOLD ORGANICALLY.


The ten of swords card can sometimes mean putting a stop to something, or being at rock bottom, but for me when I pull it, it usually tells me that the person I’m reading for is thinking something to death, and needs to pull back a bit. This could be wondering what to do in a relationship, wondering what someone is feeling, wondering if you’ll get that job, wondering what decision to make about something. The second your mind starts doing this, the seemingly never ending rabbit hole spiral into hell, it overrides your natural ability to suss out information intuitively. If you don’t know what to do about something, more often than not, you either have already realized what the solution is, but insecurity/indecision is stopping you from carrying it out, OR, it’s because the right solution has not yet presented itself and you need to let life unfold a little bit before what to do becomes apparent. And that is where the two of wands comes in.

On the card you have this guy who's holding the world in his hands. This could take on several meanings. Some obviously good (cue some hippy elementary children singing “He’s Got the Whole World In His Hands”), but if you look closely, he’s looking beyond what he has in his hands, which to me kind of says, don’t make your world too small by focusing on what’s in front of your face, think BEYOND that. Recognize and be at peace with the process.  When the two of wands comes up for people in readings I say that they need to let things unfold still here. They aren’t supposed to know more details, but they can rely on the fact that a story is still unfolding. 

Outside of my tarot work, I’m a writer. Mainly of plays and other types of scripts. When I first started out, whenever I would begin a script, I would want to pack in SO MUCH INFORMATION about the characters and the story line in the first however many pages, rather than tease out information gradually. I would want it always to be everything RIGHT NOW, rather than letting process take its part here.  I realized that I’d been doing the same thing in my life and for my WHOLE life. With relationships. With jobs. With hobbies. Ever since I was kid. My first instance of this behavior was when I broke my leg when I was 8 after trying to accomplish an Olympic-style triple lutz despite only having two weeks of ice skating lessons at that point.  Too much too soon in nearly all cases rarely works out. What I’ve learned and am constantly working on, in life and my writing AND my relationships, is to be comfortable with the process, knowing that I will discover more and more later on. Stuff that might transform my initial ideas and make things infinitely richer. There is a certain joy (if you allow it) in letting life just unfold sometimes.  Learning that you can’t always and shouldn’t always try to control the situation or control or know what comes next. This is where the Hanged Man comes in.

This guy can mean delays in results, but usually I see it come up for people when the one thing that they can do for themselves in a situation is that they can exert control by simply letting go. There’s a lot of power in that. And it takes some courage and faith, but in many instances in life, ESPECIALLY with circumstances that we can do nothing about and are out of our hands, is to just…let it go. Know that things will become clear once we allow ourselves to be still enough. To know that there is going to be more story down the line when we might know clearly what the next steps actually are. 

If you have some problems doing it, some of the solutions that might help are meditation, physical activity, watching a movie, listening to your favorite music, ANYTHING else that you can enjoy that will take your mind off things and force you to let the energies balance and restore themselves.  If you're religious, give it up to God to handle. If you are just into metaphysical things, give it up to the universe.  Give your mind and heart a break, and just trust in the rhythm of your own personal narrative. 


Justice and Everything Unfolding as it Should

One of my favorite things I've stumbled on over the years was this video of the philosopher Alan Watts telling a parable of the Chinese Farmer.

If you are in a place where you aren't able to watch it, the story goes "Once upon a time, there was a chinese farmer who lost a horse who ran away. That night all the neighbors came by the house and said "hey, that's too bad, isn't it?" And the farmer responded "Maybe." The next day the horse came back and brought seven wild horses with it. And all the neighbors came around and said "Hey, that's great!" and the farmer said "Maybe."  The next day the son was attempting to tame one of these horses. While he was riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. All the neighbors then came around and said  "that's too bad, isn't it?"  And the farmer said, "Maybe." And the next day the conscription officers came by looking to draft people from the army.  They rejected his son because he had a broken leg. And all the neighbors came around that evening and said "Isn't that wonderful." And the farmer said...."Maybe."

As he says at the end "The whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity and it is impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad, because you will never know what the consequence will be of bad fortune, and you'll never know the consequence of good fortune."

Now how does the Justice card fit in here?

Essentially, when I pull the Justice card in readings for people, it is to remind them that whatever events they might be going through, things are unfolding as they are supposed to and to benefit their higher selves. Sometimes this means, maybe things aren't working out with a romantic relationship for a reason....either to bring you to something better, or maybe because a person needs to step away in order for you both to evolve a little before the relationship can be right. Sometimes this means you didn't get that job you wanted, because no matter how much you wanted it, it wasn't the right thing for you. Or sometimes it means that though you might be at a job that you might not like so much, you will run into that one person or circumstance you need to to get you to whatever is next.  To put it in more blatant terms, you're on the right track. 

When I applied to grad school, I applied on a lark, and never expected to even get an interview. Then when I did, I became EXTREMELY attached to the idea of going.  A psychic I spoke to in Jersey told me she saw classroom desks in my future, so I thought this was TOTALLY happening. NOPE. I didn't get in. And I was extremely disappointed. More because I had to figure out another year of my life at a job I hated, before I could try again. The next year rolled around, and I applied again, because my attitude was nobody tells me "no" twice. I again got an interview. When I showed up and presented myself, I realized I had evolved with what I wanted and was much more clear about it. I got in. 

I realized when classes started, that had I gotten in the year before, I would have had a professor who wouldn't have nurtured me the way I needed to be nurtured, and been in a class full of people who just wanted to complain about how the program wasn't what they wanted. The year I got in, I had a bunch of easy-going lovely supportive people as classmates, and that professor had been replaced by a man who became my mentor, teaching me everything that I didn't even know I wanted to learn.  It was the first time in awhile I had reached a success, and saw that even though it took a year, the universe was conspiring behind my back to put me in the ideal conditions. Something that the hippies of the 60s/70s called pronoia, and a word I discovered through Rob Brezny's beautifully written newsletters at Free Will Astrology found here:

After that, I started looking to find other through-lines in my personal narrative that led up to where I was standing. I saw a lot of what I thought were fails, were actually eventual successes, that again led to some more fails, and some more successes.

I have a million other instances, some embarrassing, some small and banal, a ton that have to do with love, or jobs I wanted but didn't get, some about health, some about finances, etc. None of this stuff ever made sense in the moment when it was happening. It's made me want to scream, cry, lay in bed for hours paralyzed, wonder if there is hope, wonder when the light will come in, wonder if anything good will ever happen at all or if I should just move to Sweden and become a dentist, or into the woods where I'll grow a metaphorical beard and not talk to anyone again. It's these very moments though, that I now recognize is the time to change my mental programming, and learn to be more present, while keeping the long game, and the process of things in mind, taking things one step at a time (and being kind to myself in the midst of that process), knowing that whatever is happening in this moment in time, is unfolding the exact way it's supposed to and will make sense in the overall narrative of my existence and lead me to something better. It's always easy to see why things happened when everything is good and calm. Hindsight's view is spectacularly clear. So, with the forces that are out of your control, now is the time to whisper to yourself that everything is as it should be.

**No matter what the circumstance, with enough time passing, the positive reverberations from even the most negative circumstance will make itself apparent. Whether that leads to an entire revolution, or just a small moment where your wisdom from past experience will help someone currently going through something similar feel less alone. You just have to adjust your lens to notice those currents of life.  






Happy New Year! I thought I would kick off 2016 with one of my favorite cards: The Five of Pentacles! If you’re a tarot reader, or familiar with the tarot, you might be raising your eyebrow right now. Here’s the card: 


Not so pretty, right? As with all tarot cards, there are a million meanings, especially in combination with one another. This card could typically signal ill-health, a toppling of finances, feeling rejected, BEING rejected etc....So at this point you might be wondering, why so much love for the heinous scene? Because this card signals something else entirely when I pull it for a client, which I've learned while pulling it for myself over and over again.

 To me this card tells me to remind the person I'm reading for, that they are thinking too negatively, and focusing too much on worrying about what they don't have, or being fatalistic about their future, or not doing something that is spiritually fulfilling for them, and that it's high time to step away from all that and change how they're thinking to open up to more abundance. 

 I know some people think that if they're constantly thinking positively, they are being naive, or too much of an idealist, and not realistic enough about life, so I'm going to change the words I'm using here from it being "positive" thinking to "proactive abundant" thinking, because that's really what I'm trying to get across here.

Like, for instance, when you ask the questions "Is this guy or gal going to cheat on me?" or "Will I ever be happy?" or "Will I ever find love?" or "Will I pass my final exam?" etc etc, (you get the idea) you are not only giving your power away from the situation, but acting from a sense of insecurity and lack of faith. And I get it, it's easy to get caught up in those kinds of questions...It's especially easy to get caught up on those questions when you ask psychics to give you answers constantly, which makes you feel like you have to rely on people like us for answers to move forward, rather than stepping back and being still enough to listen to your intuition (I know this can be a problem on some tarot learning forums where readings are easily available for free between readers)...but back to the matter at hand, which is your hand where you have some of the power here. Think how differently you feel when you frame the question "What can I do to find love?" or "What advice do you have for my relationship/career/spiritual path?" or telling yourself "I'm going to find someone who is faithful, and loves me for me," or "I'm going to find a job in a positive environment that is right for me." The energy is different. And to get completely metaphysical on you, it shifts your vibrations, so that you can attract more of what you want. When you put our more proactive energy, the universe responds in kind. It's also without getting metaphysical on you, better for your well-being because it's restoring possibility in some questions, and also taking back your power!

 Now as with most things involving change, it takes work to change your thoughts. Sometimes it's extremely hard to believe you are deserving of positive things or what you want...that's mental programming we might get from society, our family, and ourselves. This train of thought has the illusion of making us feel like we have control's always easier to crawl up inside what we lack, because we know what that is. We can put our finger on it. It's faith, and having the hope that things will get better is what's hard, because we can't see ahead, but it's those two things that keep our lights shining. 

“Fake it til you make it” is a tactic that works, if you are initially having problems. I have not always been someone who thinks proactively. I have not always been someone who is positive about herself either. I still occasionally have my moments, but I've gotten much better about being kind to myself when I get caught up in negative cycles, and I decided one day that I would put in the effort to change things (part of which involved a slew of self-help books/videos, that I'll post at the bottom), to not respond the way I'd been used to responding, at first just to see if there would be a change, and then because I saw there was one. Knowing that the more you want to get better, the more work you do to change it, when you find yourselves in your lowest moments, you are more able to eventually say “WHOA THERE BUDDY! STEP BACK AND BREATHE AND THINK WHAT YOU WANT BEYOND THIS SITUATION.”  

The most recent case in point, I had a writing job working for extremely dishonest people, who were never telling me the truth, not paying me what they owed, and never doing anything to serve my work. For awhile, I kept obsessing over whether or not it would get better or how I could make it work down the line, until I said "WHOA THERE BUDDY! WHAT DO YOU WANT OUTSIDE OF THIS JOB IN THE SCHEME OF THINGS?" And the answer is I wanted to work for people who appreciated and respected me,  and who were honest. Insert me getting an email not too long after that about a job for this other company that turned out to be EXACTLY THAT. And I've been working for them ever since. Again, this takes work and faith, and intention (which I will cover in another entry) and the ability to catch myself in my own unhealthy rabbit hole (whether the instance is lesser or more trying than this). And to get metaphysical on you even further, the more you put out the intention that you want to continue moving forward in a healthier capacity, and the more you ASK for help (with people or just shouting it out to the heavens) the universe will listen to that and help throw you a life raft to get you going there and give you more of what you want along with the help you need.***(footnote at the end). If you are needing help and don't know what kind you need, a lovely woman once told me to tell the universe how you want to feel, and let it provide the form for you (which I've applied to every area in my life, and will delve in further in another entry as well). Either way, the more you put out positive vibrations, the more positive instances will come back to you, you just have to adjust your perspective.

Now this is part of what's called The Law of Attraction. I will write more on this later when I get to the Magician and Page of Wands cards, but for now my goal here is to help you out with basic tools first and remind you if you are feeling tight in your chest, or that there is no way out, or that you are worried about something happening that might not happen at all, or wondering why you aren’t getting someone or something you want, or consistently reliving anger toward a situation or person, step back and breathe. Know this is not serving you. So the next step is to ask yourself what does, how you ideally want to move forward. Ask yourself what will make you feel the most empowered. Ask what you can do for you, not put the focus on things out of your control. Your chest will feel more open to that, even if the fear is still there. Have the courage to follow along. And have faith that the things that aren’t working out no matter how hard you try, are probably not working out, because you are meant to do something greater. Recognize when you are coming from a sense of fear, or insecurity, and tell yourself you will find a way out. Do your best to eliminate negative words, and replace them with words that have more of a proactive charge to them. Don’t say “I’m worried,”say“ I’m trying to figure out” etc . When you have a broken heart, instead of saying “I don’t know how I’m going to get through this ”say“ I am going to get through this” or “I will get the help that I need”…whatever makes sense. Again, even if you don’t feel that way initially, say it until you start seeing the change.  With an accumulation of small steps, comes large change. I promise you it works. It's worked for me, but like I said, I had to make a conscious effort and remind myself I was worth it. And during my darkest times. That's the time you need to do this the most. Sometimes this can be combined with therapy, or consulting mentors to inspire you, or just gravitating and remind yourself what inspires you.   

 Energy is real. Positive and negative. And positivity begets positivity, and the same goes for the latter. Does this mean you attract everything bad that happens to you? No, and I'm not talking about big crises, just how to step out of focusing on bad, and negative self-talk, and powerlessness (which arguably could be applied in crisis situations or big life changes, and help you cope if/when they come along). 

 Remember. Step back and breathe. Think above and beyond.  


***Note that sometimes these life rafts from the universe don’t look exactly like what you want them to. I have a late appreciation for the TV show The West Wing. There is this great scene between the President of the United States and a priest. The priest tells him a story about this guy in a village that has been flooded. The guy asked God that he be saved, and he had the faith that God would save him from drowning. So when someone showed up with a boat and said “Sir, I can help you, get on” the guy kind of shrugs him off and says that God will save him. Again, a helicopter comes by, and the guy on that says “I can help you, you have to leave or you’re going to drown.” The guy again shrugs it off and says God will save him. Sure enough, the guy drowns, and when he reaches the gates of Heaven, he demands to speak to God. When God comes out, the man says “What is the deal!? I had faith you’d save me!” And God essentially tells him “I sent a man in a boat, and a helicopter. What more could you want?” See what I mean?  


First, one of the best TED talks I've ever seen is Bene Brown's The Power of Vulnerability. It's worth every single second. 


Second, Louise Hay had a profound affect on me. I picked up her book You Can Heal Your Life. While there are some things I didn't feel comfortable getting behind, I took the general message of the book to heart. How your thoughts can help create the reality you want. And also, self-love.

Energy Trajectory

Wild Unknown Tarot deck

Wild Unknown Tarot deck

So I thought I would kick off my blog by talking a little bit about my understanding of psychic/intuitive readings. 

While I'd love to give you some amazing origin story where I was born during a full moon ritual into a family of gypsies, only to travel the world with my gifts giving psychic insight to people my whole life, this is not the story.  Though I grew up in the romantic world of the arts, and am now still a professional writer, how I came to understand my cards, and understand my intuitive abilities, and the way psychic gifts work came from a much different place. And one that began primarily in a haphazard unhealthy manner of doing too many readings for myself, and getting too many readings for myself. However, what I learned from that period, I think was invaluable to me in being able to help others not just to keep them on their paths, but to make sure they didn't fall in the same holes I did.

Things I've learned:

1. There are multiple paths in your life that you can take. 

The operative phrase here is "that you can take." Like I said in my About Me section, I'm a heavy believer in free will, which means, if you hear one thing in a psychic reading, and you don't like it, you have the power to change it. You could ask a question during one part of the day, and get a certain outcome from the cards, then if you change your energy about what you wanted, and how you felt about the situation, asking that question AGAIN, you'd most likely receive a whole new set of cards with a different outcome. 

Also, if you hear something in a psychic reading that doesn't come to be, it doesn't necessarily mean the psychic was wrong, but that they saw one path, and you didn't take it....which leads me to...

2. Focusing too much on an outcome will force it to walk away from you

First of all too much information from someone on your future can be detrimental to how you go about that future.  Case in point, I have a psychic friend who loves to give me unsolicited psychic information.  He said to me once off-the-cuff  "there's a new man in your energy field, did you meet someone new?" I had, but a month earlier. It was someone I started to have dreams about but didn't think too much of taking action on except naturally at one point, when I was done reading the gentleman's book that had been published. My friend said "this guy likes you, and you like him." I showed him a picture. "That's the guy!"  So instead about going my cool natural route, I purchased a ticket to an event I knew he'd be at. I daydreamed a little more than casually about him, and when I was instructed to not act too interested, when I saw him at the event, while he most certainly asked for my number within the first five minutes of us reconnecting, I had two glasses of wine and got too enthusiastic, and thus NEVER HEARD FROM HIM AGAIN. Had I not known any of the details, I would've just talked to him casually not thinking much of it, and maybe, who knows, sitting in the south of France, respectively working on our art right now. Probably not, but to illustrate this one more time, let's say I tell you, you're going to get X job in May. Instead of following the natural path to get there, you get lazy, because you expect this to happen and don't take the proper steps your intuition would've told you to take had you not known too many details....which leads me to...

3. The cards, especially my cards, dole out a lot of advice. 

While I can intuitively feel where you are, my cards, while giving some tangible insight, also usually dole out advice to keep you on track. I learned this from reading for myself. I'd keep pulling out the same card over and over again, and I'd think WHY. Then I would look into further meanings, and understand (PS Tarot is a pretty subjective art form, I'll get to that in another post). Sometimes the card I would pull would be STOP ASKING THIS QUESTION (ten of swords/death). Or GO OUTSIDE AND LIVE LIFE (ten of cups). Or BE PATIENT (temperance). Or STOP FOCUSING ON NEGATIVE STUFF AND FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE (five of pentacles). So as time went by, I would notice while reading for people, that the cards would say...HEY! Here's what's going on, and here's what you need to do to get the best result here. And with that said:

4.  You have the power here...

This might be more of a 1A rather than 4, but I'm going to be very specific to relationships here. If there is a reading you get on a particular person where feelings are involved and there is some sort of forward motion trajectory there, it doesn't necessarily mean you have to be with this person. You always have the agency to close your heart to them if something doesn't feel right or healthy, and the universe will Recalculate like those GPS systems and find you someone else that might be more suitable. I have a whole slew of stuff to say about the law of attraction, but I'll get to that in another post.

NOW, with all of this stuff written out, I'm saying it to further illustrate my gifts and how I can help you with them. I want you to live a healthy, centered, fulfilling, happy life. I think that everyone is deserving of this, even the people who might act less than ethically, and want to change things around. Again, I've learned this through turning around my own experiences, and watching others turn around theirs. I want you to find your strongest self and the best life for you. This takes work. Why I titled this post "Energy Trajectory" is because I believe I, as well as, other psychics really pick up on your current energy trajectory, and run down paths with that.  I never read too far out. I only read in the present and near future (next couple of months). I will never give you things I think will mess up your path. I will also be honest if something is there that is messing it up, and give you some advice on how to move to a better place. It will always be up to you to follow that advice or not, but your best interest is what I have in mind. 

The rest of this blog I plan to discuss some of the things I've already mentioned like tarot subjectivity, law of attraction, energy cords, and other far left metaphysical things, along with profiling some cards from my deck and what they mean when I pull them for you.

In the meantime, have an amazing day, and as one of my favorite film professors would say "Keep a positive thought, because a positive thought cannot be denied."